The Adventures of Pork-Pie and the Missing Sausage!

Pork-Pie was a happy pig! He had been the House Pig until he had become to large to sleep in bed with farmer Mike and Miss Lottie…whereupon they purchased a king size bed just for him! He watched as the other pigs were wallowing in the pig sty and that it was exceptionally muddy and that they had something called slop to eat…morning and noon and night. Pork-Pie had a stool at the kitchen table and enjoyed the same food that farmer Mike and Miss Lottie consumed… Miss Lottie had made him a sweater to wear when he was cold and a raincoat when he had to go outside to do his business. Farmer Mike kissed Pork-Pie and hugged him and told him on numerous occasions during each day that he was the greatest pig and a special pig and that there would never be another pig like him!

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PP as he was known by his family loved to parade around the pig sty wearing either his hand knit sweater or his raincoat…or at times his stripped pajamas that Miss Lottie had ordered for him from Amazon. He especially enjoyed the fur lined house shoes that he had received for Christmas from farmer Mike, that were ordered from LL Bean. PP loved to watch television. In fact he spent about 8 hours per day glued to the tube. He loved Turner Classic Movies and HBO. One day PP noticed that farmer Mike smoked a pipe. He asked if he could have a puff…and Mike was more than happy to oblige his favorite creature in the world! Mike purchased a Merscham Pipe for PP and he looked dapper in his Sherlock Holmes outfit smoking his new pipe… PP began to believe his own press releases. He was convinced that he must be much better than the other pigs…although his mother and father and brother and sister were housed in the enclosed sty. He slept in air-conditioned comfort in the summer and beautiful Geo-Thermal heat in the winter. His skin was pink and soft from his daily bubble baths and he had picked up on many of the human words that Mike and Lotties spoke to each other…when they thought that he was not listening… They spoke of butchering time and the need to replenish their deep freezer.

For some time PP had been traveling with his human family to various fairs and livestock showings. He had a wall covered with blue ribbons to prove his worth and profound specialness to the family…and to the farm…and to the world! One fall morning as he and Mike and Lottie were sitting at the kitchen table he asked what the savory meat was that he was enjoying. Lottie replied, ‘Why that is country sausage, dear…would you like another link?’ PP asked, ‘Where does sausage come from?’ Lottie replied, ‘Why pigs dear…I thought that you knew that…you have been eating bacon since you were born!’

PP had always understood that he was different from the ‘poor pigs’. Wasn’t he called and chosen and set apart from the dirty swine…family or not? He smiled a toothy smile and asked if he could have…more…

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